I photographed her two months before she posted her story. She was suffering from a depression it said. I had no idea at the time, perhaps neither did she....Mental health issues are often frowned upon or downsized. But it’s like she said: it’s as crippling as a nasty virus....just not as visible.... I admire her honest and open approach about it. I guess acknowledging the problem is the biggest step forward. She’s strong, on her way back. Joy Draiki
Attachment is about control, and control is an illusion.
Originally two different series. But they seemed to belong together.
(noun) ; of, or relating to, an often excessive veneration of ancestors or tradition.
The prints from the 'filiopietism' series are now for sale. Photographed on hand-made film by Lomig Perrotin/Washi. Hand-printed on 50x60 cm Ilford classic fiber based (baryta) silver halide paper, and selenium toned. Mounted on 1mm PVC, framed in black wooden frames with a light grey/beige passe-partout with a black core. Print size 50x60 cm, frame size 60x70 cm.
Per print/frame € 390,- (6 % BTW/VAT included)
To order, click on one of the photos below, and e-mail the title at; email@example.com
On show at VondelCS, Amsterdam. 26-10 till 10-10, 2017
Filiopietism, a photographic observation of the prevailing and historaclly accepted differences between the genders, which has always appeared inhuman and unworldly. Women who have to face stereotyping, a glass ceiling, slutshaming, and an overal inequality forced upon them by the opposite sex. The attempt to visualize this, was as to record the female emotional state caused by this gender inequality, as seen from a male (emancipated?) perspective. At the same time it should raise awareness about all repression and inequality. Misogyny, homophobia, xenophobia , they all are the result of one group trying to oppress the other. Male, female, there are only two kinds, and yet humanity seems to fail. On the other hand we flourish like never before, so it will always continue…. While working on the series I came across an article by a young blogger, Mia Morgan, which meticulously expressed my own feelings and thoughts about the issue; (read article)
the concept of truth
I decided to depict this true story, so at least I would never forget....
on May 10, 1941, Dutchman Ab Nicholas was arrested by the German occupiers, and transported to concentration camp Sachsenhausen, near Berlin. As he had been a draftsman at the Leiden newspaper, he could save his own skin by making paintings, commissioned by the SS officers. One of his assignments was, to paint a man and woman, a couple, who walked hand in hand into the forest. In his free hand, the man had to carry a spade, so he could later bash her skull, and bury her in the woods....
Which is photography? An absolute or staged capture of reality? And even if staged, is it still not absolute? Does this split second capture nothing more than what's in front of the lens? Or does it show a mere interpretation of the photographer, which is always differently viewed by the spectator...? Who's truth is it anyway, and does it matter?
Photographed on 18x24 cm, handmade glass plate negatives. Printed on 50x60 cm silver gelatin fiber based paper.
the Brighton limit (part 1)
The Brighton limit (the delusional ways of S.)
"no good deed goes unpunished" #borderline personality disorder
I missed her 5 phone calls. I texted back, saying I was busy and can’t pick up right now, call later? Text back from her;
-PICK UP NOW!
Again 8 missed calls. Another text from me;
-I can't pick up, Is their something urgent going on, can you say it on here?
-If you don’t pick up now I will cut my wrists and bleed to death!!!
-don’t say weird shit, is there some urgency?
-I just cut myself am bleeding all over my keyboard if youjsorbnodidy hdbik ji...)7hdudb....
-Are you okay? Can you say something?
I rushed to finish what I was doing and called her, about 30 minutes later (I knew she wasn’t suicidal, just in some state).
She answered with a cheerful voice, Hello!
-So, it takes you half an hour to come to my rescue, you cunt.....you are lucky I didn’t cut myself deep enough!
For 2 days she stuck to her story, later, on skype, I asked her to remove the bandaid she carefully applied, and show her wrists, there was nothing there, no wound or cut to be seen...but still she held me accountable for her ‘suicide’...up until the day she vanished again.
dreams, memories and deeds
On show at Chez Atelier, Amsterdam. 12-02 till 12-04, 2011
a polaroid series from the exhibition 'dreams, memories and deeds'. All polaroids are scanned, enlarged and printed 120x120 cm, some are mixed media, mounted on dibond, and varnished.
in my studio
Started photographing the people out of my daily life. From friends, family, clients, models to the mailman. Everyone ringing the doorbell is being 'dragged' into the studio for a portrait. I want to document them out of a wish to never forget... They may stay or leave my life, but this way they are preserved for ever in my memory. It is what makes photography such a great phenomena, just think of the old photo albums you keep at home? It not only brings back the faces, but also the situation, the way you felt at the time, moods, even scents from your past...